Welcome, Have a Giant Cheese

Map of Osweo, NY courtesy U.S.G.S.

It all started with a cheese. A really, really big cheese. OK, that’s a lie; not the fact that the cheese was really, really big (because it was), but the idea that this started with a cheese. Everything needs a great origin story, though. People love origin stories. And hyperbole. And so, this was the largest cheese ever made.

Image from "Perley's Reminiscences of Sixty Years in the National Metropolis" (B. Perley Poore, 1886)

The cheese was made by Thomas Meacham, just outside of Oswego, NY. Meacham was a fan of then president Andrew Jackson (whom I happen to share initials with), and also of his home town. So he devised a plan to simultaneously honor Jackson and put Oswego on the map. And 175 years later, our movie was conceived.

Taylor Dunne is a talented filmmaker; adroit, compassionate, and with a keen sense of mischief. We were spending a month molding young minds in the deep-fried wonderland of lakefront Upstate New York, and were looking for more to do, in order to justify our 12-hour-a-week sleep habit. Taylor had a super8 camera, and I had an audio recorder; and so we found ourselves on a salvaged boat floating on Lake Ontario, as Taylor interviewed local historian Jane Abraham on the history of The Cheese.
Fifteen months later, “The Story of the Biggest Little Cheese” (working title) is still in production. No, that’s not exactly right: it’s not called “The Story of the Biggest Little Cheese”. Also, although it’s still in production, that’s a bit misleading, since neither of us have really done too much work on the project since leaving Oswego. But we have plans. Big plans. Taylor’s plans include some mind-blowing animation, and mine include a giant paper maché cheese and a swim in the frosty Charles River.
In the meantime, I’ve come to recognize– if not actually accept– my ability to leave grand works unfinished. And like Taylor, my mind is overcrowded with grand works. Some are imprisoned by my lack of business acumen (the ability to monetize a great idea does not come often with the type of mind that creates great ideas; and let’s recognize that monetization has not turned out to be as great an idea as it’s been touted). Some ideas are of the type that require specialized knowledge to execute; knowledge that I do not possess. Still other great ideas are not great ideas at all, when they come off the page. None of this means that the world should be deprived of these genius ideas. And so, this blog is to bear all manner of half-cooked, fully-cooked and bloody raw ideas unto the internet, so long as two people have agreed they’re “genius”. Any standard good enough for the Times is good enough for me.

By the way, many have asked “well, what if someone, for some reason, thinks these are actually good ideas and wants to execute one?” And I answer, “Creative Commons, baby!”



If you’re interested in making money from one of these ideas, I’m happy with that; just get in contact with me for permission. I may ask for shares of stock when your company goes public, or if it’s a smaller-sized venture, that you throw me a few bucks if my idea’s making you wealthy. If you’re a jerk and just steal my idea, I’ll sick my legion of devoted blog-followers on you, to hound you until you go mad from the poorly-spelled rantings delivered to you from all corners of the globe.

Happy thinking!